Earlier this week I was so proud and was bragging about how wonderful my son is and how wonderful his friends are. Well he/they have shown me the yin to their yang.
Curfew 11:00pm. At 11:03 I call SUPERSTAR. He says he's on his way home. He comes in the house, out of breath and sweating. Apparently he'd run all the way. I'm thinking 'cause he's trying to make curfew, right? Apparently not. 11:20ish I'm in bed, trying to get to sleep. SUPERSTAR comes in turns on the light and says, "Mom, I need you to be cool about this."
pause: now I ask you what am I supposed to think when faced with this? "be cool?" I'm not "cool."
"What's going on? What did you do?"
He explains to me that he and his friends had shot a nerf gun (the kind that send out those small, foam, suction tipped darts) at a passing car. Police were in the neighborhood chasing them. He tells me they only shot two darts.
So apparently his sprint home was the result of this episode. All the boys except one were home. This young man was hiding in some bushes at the end of our street, scared to death and out of breath. He'd just talked to SUPERSTAR on the phone and he was practically crying because he didn't know how he was going to get home. SUPERSTAR tells me that he thought about taking ("stealing") our car to go get him, but didn't. (thank goodness) Ya, now that would have got him bound and gagged and grounded for the rest of his life. No need to be scared of the police, mom would have been worse.
He told his friend to come to our back door and SUPERSTAR was asking me to drive him home.
So least you start to believe my wonderful son to be a saint-know that he won't be translated any time soon. (Or leaving the house)
So here's a the BIG question. What would you do?
I have had an opportunity to speak with some of the boys who were there that night. NONE have shared the experience with thier parents. I suggested to each of them that they "come clean" to mom and dad. They each thought I was out of my mind, there was no way they were going to tell their parents. Now, if it were my son another parent knew something like this about I would hope they would let me know.
So what do you think? What would you do? If this is familiar to you, what have you done? This whole parenting teens is "crazy".
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The Destination is important but, I let Him worry about that. The Journey is now and that is where I focus. I trust His Plan, the Journey He leads me on, to the Destination He intendes for me.
Hope
EXPECTION BASED ON EXPERIENCE
"We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
"And patience, expereince; and experience, hope:
"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in the hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."
Romans 5:3-5
"We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
"And patience, expereince; and experience, hope:
"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in the hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."
Romans 5:3-5
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God's Plan
I've been thinking about giving away the expectations I've had - the way I want things/life to be, in exchange for living in the NOW - accepting the present.
I think that I need to concentrate on the journey instead of the destination. When I consider only the destination I have preconceived ideas of how to get there and whether what is now is actually connected to the destination. When perhaps this isn't my journey, this is God's plan and maybe I'm exactly where I need to be. He will take and guide me to the destination. It's not my plan that I follow it is HIS plan. With that in mind I'm OK allowing God to be the guide - after all I trust in His Plan, His Destination for me and the journey He has intended for me to be on.
For today I will experience the path, the journey, the events that occur. I will be present to them, participate in them, feel the feelings and do the work for this day. I will joy in my relationships and keep my Guide/Friend/Father/God in sight so that I am lead to the path He intends and am guided toward the destination I trust He has intended for me.
I think that I need to concentrate on the journey instead of the destination. When I consider only the destination I have preconceived ideas of how to get there and whether what is now is actually connected to the destination. When perhaps this isn't my journey, this is God's plan and maybe I'm exactly where I need to be. He will take and guide me to the destination. It's not my plan that I follow it is HIS plan. With that in mind I'm OK allowing God to be the guide - after all I trust in His Plan, His Destination for me and the journey He has intended for me to be on.
For today I will experience the path, the journey, the events that occur. I will be present to them, participate in them, feel the feelings and do the work for this day. I will joy in my relationships and keep my Guide/Friend/Father/God in sight so that I am lead to the path He intends and am guided toward the destination I trust He has intended for me.
4 comments:
First of all, it's so great that your son told you. That's awesome.
I read your post to a couple of my friends who are parents of teens, and they had an immediate response: they've learned it's not a good idea to tell the other parents. It never goes well. The other parents have a tendency to view you as a tattletale, they don't believe you, they say your kid is lying because their kid said it happened differently, etc. They said even their close friends never respond well. So they've learned that unless the teen is involved in something life-threatening or they're endangering themselves (i.e. smoking pot), they stay completely out of it. To quote them, "You can't parent their kids." And they agree with you: parenting teens is mentally *EXHAUSTING*!
Oh what I have to look forward to!
Hmm....I would maybe suggest to my son's friends again that they should tell their parents before they hear it from "someone" else. See if they get the hint. As a parent, I would want to know, too. But I do remember back to a time my best friend and I were practicing driving her parents car around the neighborhood without permission, and someone told our parents. Of course, I wasn't happy and thought that person should've minded their own business....but that was then!
I think it's hard to want to be the cool mom, but also being responsible. I'm still learning.
On the upside, at least it was only Nerf guns, and at least he told you. That shows he's still the Superstar.
Let us know how you end up handling this one.
Becks,
I really appreciate the words of wisdom you sought from those experienced parents. Thank you so much for passing those on to me.
Tammy,
Thanks for the personal example. Too often it's easy to forget what it was like to be a teen.
Both of you,
Thank you for your added perspective and your reasonable and rational responses. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're awesome!
ok. first off. totally not offended on the movie review. i asked, and yes totally agree on the message in the movie. i did find a little too much truth ion everyone getting fat if they floated around on hover chairs. anyway. not offended. glad you got the same message. i usually just take it for what it is, and don't think deeply on the hidden meaning. thus no statement on it.
and love your Regina Spektor song. totally feeling it! love her!
and thanks for coming by, and linking to me! i had to giggle that i fit under inspiring!
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